I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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