i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I want you more than these girls want KFC
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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