And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
