bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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