Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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