Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
