yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
