i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
