idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
