I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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