Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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