I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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