Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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