One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
