3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
