I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
