If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
