did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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