Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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