Non-Jews are for practice
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
