wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
