If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
