I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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