Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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