its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
