look no pants
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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