Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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