Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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