doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
