Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
How naked do you want me to be?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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