Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
