Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
