Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize