dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
