i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
