Actions speak louder than pants.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
