Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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