found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
