i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
