I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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