You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
