How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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