No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
