I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
