so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
