I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize