Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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