Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
