He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I smell stomach acid.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
