my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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