What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
