got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have tasted many bathrooms
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
