who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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