theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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