distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
