he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
