Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
