so let's talk penis.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
