I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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