At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
