he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
