I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
honey bunches of taint.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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